silent wonder

crazed thoughts.

i could have been there to hold your hand. but i chose not to.
i could have been there to kiss your tears away. but i chose not to.
i could have been there to hug you close.... to fight for you, to be there for you. but i chose not to.

no. i'm not a coward.
no. i'm not crazy.

my life revolves around a chaotic swarm of nothingness...
i'll only pull you down.

my first love will always be God
and everything else will be second.

why did I do so.
I must be quite mad.

but I know, my priorities are too much, too many, to be able to task another commitment into.
my heart has frozen, a long time ago.
my mind has been tuned out, a long time ago.
my soul has been captured, a long time ago.

you think you feel hurt.
i do to. but i know that this hurt, will be incomparable to the hurt that i tell you a year down the road.
the hurt is so painful, that you can die.

when you fall from the heavens, cold hard ice become jagged knives... merciless, unrelenting, crevasses in which your soul will be torn to million pieces...
and to find back yourself, will take an excruciating lapse of time.

survive this, and you will be stronger.
remember me for the best that I was, cause I will always do the same.

God works in ways, we cannot see.
He will make a way for you and for me, where there seem to be no way.
Because I know He will.

Love your neighbour as you would love yourself, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

Yes, Love. The very, deepest aspect of God.

Dear God,
I hope that you will heal the broken hearts this day, keep us in your arms and wipe away our tears. For You love us, more then anyone else could ever will. May Your will be done in our lives, and may You be glorified through us.
I love you Lord.
We love you Lord.
guide us through this period of turmoil and pain, that we may emerge wiser, more stronger then before, ready to face the world and the chaos that is life.
its been hard. but with You, everything is worth it.

the world will wonder why, I gave my life for You.
but let them wonder, because every breathe I make, every step I make, I make it for you Lord. So please, conform me to your will. Mind, strength, body, soul and spirit.
That Your Kingdom will come. That Your Will be done. On earth, and in heaven, now and forever.
For all honour, glory and power belongs to You and You only. Forever.

In Jesus' most beloved and almighty name I pray. Amen.

-